Intimate escape

February 20, 2011 § 2 Comments

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Library. Everyone has their own picture of what it looks like. But this is my shrine. My own space and time where I just sit down and think.

In this small town, I don’t have much to do on a Sunday, and yet, I always feel like if I don’t try hard enough to write or read, someone whispers in my ears “Youth is the every moment you pass… every moment you waste.” I just had to get out of my flat and sit somewhere. I have to recharge and refuel every once in a while.

My stomach felt empty. I didn’t have breakfast this morning; quite typical of my days. I had a glass of cappuccino, and stopped by at a warm café for a hot chocolate before coming here to this library.

The desks and chairs invite people to stay over and spend a short afternoon here. Suddenly I realize, this is an intimate escape for many people here. It’s a Sunday, but everyone here is apparently not at home with their family. I wonder what kind of people spend their Sunday afternoon here.

One, for example, is a heartbroken girl, desperate for some inspiration and wanted a boost for figuring out her feelings and reasons for living. Another one is a young student eager to immerse herself in literary seriousness of Roth and perhaps plan her adventurous trip abroad, as she roams around the travel books. An older man looks like professor who just needs to get his work done, maybe away from the screaming sounds of his children at home. A poet and writer is there for some alone time and writing before being forced to return to a job she hated and the life others forced upon her on the weekdays.

What do they have in their minds? Is this the only place where they can seek solace and comfort today? Where they experience feelings and adventures from stories. Away from the uncomfortable knowledge of how things are not as good as what they want them to be. Away from the real life they don’t want for themselves.

I’d like to think that people are here to have themselves entertained by books. And of course there are always people who need references for their essays and papers; and just another book or two to read. But maybe a lot of them are just like me; desperately focusing their mind on something to get away from the screeching sounds of reality. They just want to revive their minds and bring some life back into their souls.

The quietness calms me. These people, each is alone, but together anyway, made me feel like I’m not the only one seeking refuge here. As it gets busier, the sounds of life around me is comforting. I just need some sense of normalcy. When I’m here, there is no past, no future. I am simply being me, at present.

– Ajeng. 20 February 2011 –


§ 2 Responses to Intimate escape

  • Mita says:

    I (think I) know what u mean! really love your two last sentences:D
    I often sit and study in the library, waiting for the traffic jam so i can go home peacefully..
    but the place i really love to find comfort is park( found Taman Suropati near my campus as a comforting place for me)and beach, and old city in central Jakarta..!usually i don’t like crowded, but there i find solace…
    there i realize what’s so precious of “to be here and now”

  • akuh says:

    an escape. a pause.
    from all those noises in your head.
    or maybe just the familiar sight of comfort
    knowing there are definitely more to life
    than this petty one you tread upon.

    arent we all hungry.
    for more.
    than allowed.

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