dreaming big and making it happen
December 20, 2009 § 2 Comments
I was thinking last night. Maybe I’m slightly different now than what I used to be. Maybe I’ve become this boring adult who works all the time and being too satisfied with myself. I don’t even sound like a person I’d myself like.
In 2006 I was an enthusiastic young adult wanting to explore just how big the world is, and yet, how similar we all are as human being. I was in the world of NGO, and was mesmerized by it. I got inside the UNESCO building in Paris for God’s sake, staring straight at the Eiffel Tower. I even had a discussion in one of the building’s conference room. I was in Paris, acting like I belonged there (the truth is, I would’ve enjoyed living and working in Paris). I was even offered a staff position in one of the organizations under UNESCO (I’d be “poor” in Paris’ living standard, but I’d be a part of a force that tries to bring the human race together and encourage world peace. And I must say I’m just the “right” ambassador of Islam to the world). I was this lovable, multicultural happy hippie. The work offer was amazing, but I knew if I left my medical education to work in Paris for 1 year I might not finish it at all. I just had to channel my passion and enthusiasm through medicine.
In 2007 I was this curious beginner in the world of academics, trying to see all the possibilities in a familiar European country. Forget about wishing I’d be back to that country. Damn, I was busy figuring out what I wanted to do when I’d get back (yes, I was that certain that I would be back and working there). It was the first time I got bored and annoyed by an international flight, and I just thought, “I better get used to this, because this is my future, endless international flights just for work”. Is that optimism or overconfidence? I was introduced to an “almost professor” who had immigrated from a less wealthy country, and my professor at time looked at me with a strange smile like she knew something, she said intensely, “It can be like that”. It was just a beginning for me. It was my utopia. I traveled. I studied. I taught. I learned. I was again working in an international community. I was enthusiastic, and as passionate as ever. And I knew I’d be coming back for more.
It’s 2009, and I guess we’ll see what comes up next. Live it and enjoy it I’d say. I still want to be that girl who’s amazed by every new place in the world I stepped my feet on. I still want to have that adventurous spirit, that explorative desire, and that intensity in living and appreciating life.
Maybe I’m different now in a sense that I’m a little bit older, a little bit more aware of choices and consequences; a little bit too self-conscious but apparently not self-conscious enough. But I hope I’m still that same girl in that UNESCO building: a girl who was dreaming big and making it happen.
ajeng. 20-12-2009. http://docere.antiblog.com