Life in monochrome and static cling

May 2, 2009 § Leave a comment

What is a man without ambition?

But then again, what is an ambitious man without passion?

For  someone like me, those men are missing something big in their lives.

I know a man full of passion, he’s smart and he knows what he loves. He knows what kind of work that he loves to do and he makes sure that he’s doing it. And yet, he’s afraid of wanting better things for himself. He’s afraid of expectations. Life has probably made him doubtful of the things he can have in life. He has all kinds of rational explanations of why we should not hope too much and dream too big. Bottomline is, he’s afraid. With his passion he’s attractive enough for someone like me. But without ambition he’s like a car with not just the gas fully stepped on but also the hand-brake. He’s simply going nowhere, life is always halted by some static cling.

I know a man with ambition, but no passion. His life is between the campus and his home, between the classes and watching tv. And there’s nothing in between. Nothing. And I am struggling with finding out what makes him special, because at this point, there’s nothing special in him. He’s just boring. And maybe that’s just because I’ve always been doing too many things at once, meeting too many people in one day, and wanting so many things in a short period. Or maybe, that’s because he doesn’t have anything he’s enthusiastic about, he doesn’t have anything he’s interested in. He wants to get ahead and go forward in life and career, but that’s just about it. He lives for nothing but tomorrow, just to see another day that is pretty much the same as yesterday, life in monochrome. There’s no coulours and I don’t feel his heart beating.

Or maybe it’s just me in my overly complicated life. I can’t understand how people can function without passion and ambition. I just can’t. And really, I am struggling with this. I will certainly blame my parents, they both are intense about the things they do in life. They are lucky enough to pursue the things they actually love doing. And now, comparing myself with others around me, I just realized how much my parents have influenced me. They don’t limit or direct my choices in life, but they certainly shaped my attitude towards life, which I am grateful about.

Ambition and passion are not wild grasses that can grow as tall as the trees. If they’re not nurtured, they won’t grow at all, let alone bloom.

I’m lucky enough to surround myself with people of this kind, the ones with both passion and ambition who don’t just keep it for themselves but share them with me and motivate me. I am not maniacally ambitious and I stay sane. I make sure that I stay balanced and grounded. But I do have this fire in my eyes. People don’t just know my passion, they can feel it when they’re near me. They know that I know where I’m going. They know that I am going after the things in life that I believe in.

“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion”; I can never live a life in monochrome nor a life with eternal static cling. And passion and ambition are definitely two big words in my dictionary of life.

Ajeng, 2 May 2008.


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