Eventually, I will have to forgive myself

December 25, 2008 § 1 Comment

A young girl travels, and on the way to a worship place she met a woman with whom she had a conversation. Clearly, the woman was very upset, she looked tired and sad, but there was something in her eyes that caught the girl’s attention. Although there was pain in her eyes, there was also hope there. The girl asked what had happened, and the woman said that she had just lost a friend she dearly loved. She started saying,

“I can’t take back the love I’ve given. I can’t keep the heart I’ve given. And what left is sometimes my soul torn apart and my faith crumbled. I had nothing else but anger and sadness. And when the pain was most intense, I wondered whether it would ever go away.

Eventually, I will have to forgive myself for loving so much, for loving the people who end up hurting me or going away from me. It’s me I have to forgive for choosing to love. Loving is not a mistake, but to choose it is to be brave.

I pray for the strength and courage to love others, to love life.

I pray for the strength and courage to live and feel.

I pray for a big heart, a kind soul, a warm spirit.

I pray for a light in my heart, the kind that will shine brightly like stars in a dark night.

I pray that God keeps me safe and well.

I pray that despite all that has happened, I will be alright”

-ajeng, jepara. 25-12-2008. http://docere.antiblog.com-

This story was written out of pain. And yet at the same time, there is always hope and forgiveness. When it’s dark and you’re hurting, you just wish that everything will be allright

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