the friendships: beginnings and endings

June 26, 2007 § Leave a comment

When does a friendship start? When does one end?

There were several things I remember.

Once I met this quiet, shy girl in the class. We were 6 at that time, I was the new girl at school and she’d been the best Grade I student the previous year. We started talking and playing together after a while. The friendship has lasted 16 years until today.

Once in junior high school I met this class clown, he’s just hilarious and not very much interested in classroom assignments. The friendship started when we’re finishing high school. He has been one of the best friends I can ever ask for; he’s still a storyteller until today, but an academically successful one. I can always rely on him. It’s been difficult telling people that we’re not in a relationship. We’ve been friends for almost 9 years now.

Once, I really didn’t know who this girl was. Someone just told me if I need a bass player then I should ask her to join my band. I did. It was one of the best decisions we made as a band, and the beginning of a supportive friendship that has sustained me through to good and the bad.

Once, I met this girl who knew me, I had no idea who she was. We met in a tough period of both of our lives. A lot of time spent together. Laughters, music, tears. You never know how fast they can lead to a friendship.

Once, in class I borrowed this girl’s library card, and then she offered to take me to the library herself. Afterwards we decided to have dinner and get some drink the next day. It was a start of a much needed friendship that stretches halfway across the globe.

Those were some beginnings of some friendships. All worth cherishing.

Some friendships ended before you even decide they should.

Once, this person decided to pull away from me. Perhaps it’s my fault, since I couldn’t respect her decisions. Or it’s her fault, for not being able to keep having me as her friend. As what someone told me once, “the friendship just bled to death”. That’s exactly how it felt.

Another time, I decided to keep my distance from this person. I just realized that there are a lot of emotional issues that she needs to figure out for herself. She was dragging me down with her, and I was seeing this friendship as a destructive one. It just had to end for my own sake.

With some, you thought it’s gonna last forever, and it just doesn’t.
With others, you never thought it would last for long, then after years and years you still respect and appreciate each other for being there.
With the ones you have now, you want to keep in your heart and in your life for eternity, because you know what last through the bad are the ones worth keeping.

Ajeng. http://docere.antiblog.com

radiology exam and planning…

June 14, 2007 § Leave a comment

It’s exam week in radiology and I had been busy browsing through my radiology books. Seriously, no intense studying with long hours of memorizing long lists of signs or symptoms. Nice. I mean, not to underestimate the field, but radiology has the characteristic of being simple on the mind, but tough on the eyes. Anyway, I have a not-that-good grade on the imaging examination, and hopefully a great one on the second exam with the supervisor. Although I haven’t been the Grade-Maniac I used to be for a long time since I left internal medicine, the fact is an “A” tastes sweet even before it’s written on your report card. So, yeah, I’d love to get an “A”. The real deal: no one can judge your future based on a short exam session. A grade is your PAST, not your FUTURE. Let’s always keep things in perspective.

I’ve been struggling to make several decisions regarding my studies these past few days. I must admit I haven’t made any firm decision yet. I don’t know what I’m waiting for though. Perhaps, more signs from above, regarding what I should do. I mean, we are talking about things in July and September, but still, time can pass freakin quickly and it’s always best to ANTICIPATE rather than just REACT.

For the sake of sanity, I decided to go out with a good friend today. We talked for 5 hours, with lunch, and even for me that’s one hell of a long talk. Well, with me gone from the hospital for almost 5 months already, it’s impossible to keep track of people; who’s getting pregnant, who’s breaking up with a boyfriend, who’s getting married, who’s getting all the special treatment just because he’s a son of somebody really important at the hospital. And of course we updated each other about our lives. A lot has happened in 5 months… To sum up everything in just 5 hours is quite a job well done, I think.

Ajeng. http://docere.antiblog.com

radiologic sky and Pasar Johar

June 4, 2007 § Leave a comment

Fascinating day.
Today is quite a strange day, although it’s noticeable only through careful observation. My mother, a development consultant/archaelogist/non-governmental organization conservation activist, has obviously been very distracted of the latest effort by the mayor of Semarang, SS, to demolish Pasar Johar, destroying the building, turning it into a mall and displacing thousands of small retailers there. She’s been busy calling local and central government officials to lobby them into opposing the destruction plan. It seems like the mayor is somehow bribed by the developer of the mall, so that he insists on getting rid of the current Pasar Johar for a modern mall with and for rich people inside. This is once again the battle between Good and Evil. The mayor seems to have made false reports regarding the building, as if the best solution for the flooding problem there is erecting a completely new building. I feel for these small retailers. If you want to be religious, then you have to fight for goodness and social justice, as I understand from Islam. Then this is the cause worth fighting for. This is a fight for the right of the poor people.
This is my third week in radiology rotation. And… I have found my brain very much distracted by radiology from time to time. Yesterday on my way to the hospital I looked up to the sky, found this amazing orange hue in the morning with a streak of white cloud, and I immediately thought: patchy homogenous opacification, DD: pneumonia, tuberculosis (a very common description in thorax radiologic imaging). I was looking at the sky for God’s sake, and I could only remember a chest x-ray picture!!! The same thing happened again this morning. Now I really believe that your speciality in medicine can determine your philosophy of life and your outlook on anything on this earth. Very bizarre.
Because of the unconscious and continuous analysis of my surroundings using radiology terms, I have decided to get inspired and stimulated by more colours. So today I finally put up some new posters for my wall. Of course this means adding some new nails on the wall for hanging the frame and taking down two old giant posters. The new one is a gigantic part of Van Gogh’s famous painting, Vase with Fifteen Sunflowers, bought in Van Gogh Museum Amsterdam, 90cm x 60cm solid with a white glass frame. Beauty again, at last. Another one is a smaller print of “Van Gogh’s Bedroom at Arles”, from the painting at Musee d’Orsay in Paris (bought also at the museum).
I have decided to keep the blog in English unless I write something to be expressed only in bahasa Indonesia. I hope you all won’t mind!

http://docere.antiblog.com
Ajeng!

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