Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion (Hebbel, 1818-1863) ; cinta dan persahabatan adalah sebuah pesan agung yang tertulis di langit, dan hati kita cukup besar untuk menampung segala konsekuensinya (Ajeng, 2007)
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A famous rockstar stated in an interview about his first lover,
“It was pretty great. I didn’t say things like, “I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to marry you or I want to be with you forever.” It was like, “I want us to be friends forever.” And now she’s with someone else. I was just excited to be there and have what we had. It was very intense. We spent a lot of time together, and it was my first feeling of being in love.”
I wish I could have said the same about mine. That statement was so graceful, so honest and kind. So accepting, so grateful.
For me, that first love that got away from me caused an excruciating pain. Being in love with each other we were enlightened, happy, grateful. It was intense and passionate. I just wish that it didn’t end up as badly as it did, or better, that it never happened at all.
In a blurry flashback, for me it was what it was. I can’t define it. I don’t like to reminisce what happened, what could have happened. It was something in the past and whatever damage it caused was already done. And now, older and wiser, I’d say that maybe we made a mistake of starting that catastrophic relationship in the first place, but we couldn’t help it at that time, we loved each other.
So, when someone asked me about that first love that got away, I answered, “It was what it was”
In the first few seconds only the keyboard sounds that was so dominant and imposing in the song Fireflies of Owl City. The vocal and upbeat drums came a while later, followed by happy string arrangement after the chorus.
The video was fun, bright, and… extremely busy, with toys coming to life and moving. But the song is extremely smart and well arranged. It reminds me of the debut album of Keane, only much much better.
I like the fun touch as well. A song called “Dental Care” was confusingly pleasant:
“I’ve been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills…
When hygienists leave on long vacations
That’s when dentists scream and lose their patience”
Vanilla Twilight on the other hand, is a serious ballad with the still honest poetic lyric:
“The silence isn’t so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly”
I was busy enjoying the music when a friend told me that their music is “too electronic” for her. And I didn’t even realized… All I know was that I was listening to great music that always has some surprising twist and freshness no matter how many times I repeat them.
And the best thing is, it’s more than just the first single. All the songs are charming, optimistic, hopeful, lovely, and basically happy. I’ve never called any music as happy, but owl city has definitely earned that impression. Excellent music, brilliant lyric. It’s more than just pop, it’s quality pop.
Atlet adalah manusia-manusia yang terbiasa mengejar kesuksesan. Atlet adalah orang-orang yang kompetitif. Mereka terbiasa berkompetisi, dan mereka justru berkembang berkat kompetisi itu.
Tengoklah sebuah pertandingan olah raga, ada yang menang, ada yang kalah. Kalau seseorang kalah, dia tidak bisa mundur begitu saja, dia akan tetap berusaha, berjuang, berlatih dan pada akhirnya bertanding lagi untuk berusaha meraih kemenangan. Kalau seseorang menang, ia tahu bahwa ia harus tetap berlatih agar dapat mempertahankan kemenangan itu pada pertandingan selanjutnya. Orang yang menang akan bahagia, puas, dan merasa hasil kerja kerasnya terbayar. Orang yang kalah akan sedih, kesal, marah, namun harus tetap menerima kekalahan itu; pada akhirnya dia sadar bahwa dia harus berlatih dan berusaha lebih keras untuk meningkatkan prestasinya. Ia akan memusatkan perhatian ke depan. Untuk yang menang dan yang kalah, tidak ada kata selesai, yang ada hanya pikiran “apa yang akan kukejar selanjutnya?”
Sudahkah kita menerima kekalahan kita? Bisakah kita menjadikan kekalahan itu sebagai motivasi itu untuk lebih baik lagi?
Sudahkah kita fokus dengan kemenangan kita? Bisakah kita menjadikan kemenangan itu sebagai motivasi itu untuk lebih baik lagi?
Sesudah menang atau kalah, mereka akan berlatih lagi, mereka akan ikut pertandingan lainnya, dan mereka akan menghadapi tekanan sebuah kompetisi dan mereka berkali-kali lagi akan keluar sebagai orang yang menang atau kalah.
Kawan-kawan bisa lihat sendiri, betapa dalam kehidupan olah raga menang atau kalah itu pada tataran makna yang lebih dalam, pada esensinya adalah sama. Berusaha lebih baik lagi.
Atlet adalah pribadi yang dewasa. Mereka mungkin menangis sedih bila kalah, atau menangis bahagia bila menang. Tapi setelah tiap poin terakhir, setelah tiap garis finish yang terlewati, setelah tiap medali atau piala yang diserahkan, pihak yang tadinya berlawanan akan bersalaman. Yang kalah akan mengucapkan selamat, yang menang akan mengucapkan terima kasih atas permainan yang ditampilkan.
Atlet adalah orang-orang yang sejak dini terbiasa hidup dengan tekanan. Semua pelatih akan bilang, “Harus bisa!”. Kalau orang yang hanya olah raga untuk hobi akan menyarankan, “sekuatnya saja!”, maka kata-kata yang ada di telinga atlet adalah “harus bisa!”. Mentalitas “harus bisa” ini merupakan suatu aset untuk karakter seorang atlet.
Atlet adalah orang-orang yang bermental baja. Pernahkah kawan-kawan berdiri sendirian di tengah lapangan dengan raket di tangan menghadapi lawan, dan suporter lawan menyoraki gembira kesalahan anda, dan berteriak mengejek poin anda? Wah, percayalah kawan, itu adalah perasaan yang amat sangat tidak enak. Bukan saja orang lain tidak mendukung, tapi orang lain berusaha menjatuhkan mental anda. Tapi seorang atlet akan tetap berjuang sampai pertandingan selesai. Seorang atlet akan cuek saja dengan suara-suara yang memang bermaksud menurunkan semangatnya.
Atlet adalah orang-orang yang selalu meminta pertolongan Tuhan. Tentu usaha mereka sendiri tidak akan pernah cukup dan tidak akan pernah menenangkan hati.
Atlet adalah orang-orang yang terbiasa hidup dengan target. Mereka terbiasa untuk mengatakan “saya ingin lebih cepat/lebih kuat/lebih berprestasi”, dan mereka tidak harus minta maaf ke orang lain karena menginginkan sesuatu. Mereka harus punya target, karena target itu membuat mereka fokus dan bisa mengukur kerja keras dan usaha mereka dalam menggapai target itu.
Orang yang “menjalani hidup apa adanya, mengalir saja” tidak akan pernah menjadi atlet sukses, dan selama seseorang masih menjalani kehidupan sebagai atlet ia tidak akan bersikap “menjalani hidup apa adanya, mengalir saja”. Ia yang menentukan arus dan arah alirannya.
Atket adalah orang yang berani punya visi dan cita-cita.
Jadi, mari kita renungkan seandainya ada pelajaran yang bisa kita petik dari para atlet, dan betapa mereka berhak mendapatkan penghargaan dan penghormatan kita.
entah kenapa, hari ini (dan belakangan ini) lagi males nulis sesuatu yang pake bahasa yang bener (Bahasa Indonesia ataupun english).
Bahkan posting ini pun asal, hanya sekedar untuk menyalurkan energi kafein yang mengalir deras dalam darah tanpa dibarengi inspirasi, jadilah tulisan yang omigod asal banget dan nggak docere banget. Set daaaah… This is the real me guys, masi minat ngikutin blog ini? I hope so.. jangan khawatir, sang pujangga akan kembali, cuma sementara butuh di setup ulang aja otaknya.
So, hari ini. aku berulang kali tertegun menatap jam digitalku. ceritanya jam tanganku (hix sedih) jatoh dan retak kacanya, so mamiku yang baik memutuskan sudah saatnya aku punya jam tangan yang lebih tough. alhamdulillah, kami dipertemukan dengan counter jam tangan yang membabat habis harga asli jam ini, dengan harga substandar kami beli jam diskon ini. tentu saja jam tangan ini cukup ajaib karna warnanya oranye (huhu… jadi inget kepiting melati -sori, khusus orang Bontang Kaltim aja yang tau maksud kepiting melati apaan, paradise on earth), tapi slain itu jam ini perubahan besar karna DIGITAL, sedangkan udah 7 taun lebih aku terbiasa pake jam tangan analog. jadi kalo liat jam sekarang mikir dulu, mencoba memvisualisasikan dulu skr jam brp, baru deh… Dong. Haduuh… Tapi harapanku cukup besar sama jam ini, semoga sesuai harapan: tahan air, tahan banting, dan tahan lama… amin.
apalagi ya.. oia, beberapa hari yang lalu, terpengaruh seorang temen, aku install Nimbuzz, aplikasi chat gratis buat Hp. kata dia “wah, nokia gak kalah deh sama bb”. Jadinya..tadaaa…. bener, bisa OL 24 jam sehari cihuyyyyyyy… Nggak kalah gaul deh walo tar dah PTT ke ujung dunia, masi bisa ceting ma temen2. jadi, reviewku buat nimbuzz adalah: nilai 10/10, highly recommended. MUCH MUCH better drpd ebuddy.
Truss… skarang aku pindah operator, dari telkomsel jadi indosat. Berhubung anak manja, jadi kebiasaan abonemen. Dari Halo ke Matrix ternyata berasa lebih murahhhh… khususnya buat sms pacar (yg pake mentari hehehe) dan online (buat apa nimbuzz kalo tanpa ongkos gprs yang murah meriah).
TRANSFORMER super duper keren. KCB belom nonton soalnya males nonton filem cinderella begituan. Garuda juga belom soalnya males ngantre saingan ma transformer.
apalagi ya… oia… hiks… terharu. terharu banget. Hari ini udah dengerin Yellow cover version yang dimainin oleh… SAYA SENDIRI!!! Daymn, keren abis. Dan keindahan dari lagu ini adalah karna cover version ini emang dimainin versi ajeng, jadi lupain lah Chris Martin dan Coldplay-nya, thanks for writing this song u guys, but I’m doin a great job playing and singing it. Setelah direcord dan dijadiin MP3, aku hanyut dalam untaian nada-nada yang kuaransemen ulang ini…
Seorang temen nanya (halah, keyboardis gw Neno), “Jeng, kok suka banget sama yellow?”. Jawabannya karna, sungguh, di dunia ini, ngga ada kalimat yang lebih menggambarkan CINTA dibandingin lirik ini, “For you I bleed myself die…”. Pertanyaanku, berani ngga loe smua ngomong itu ke pacar masing2??? Hayooo…!!! (Tolong jangan membuat asumsi apapun mengenai jawaban saya atas pertanyaan saya itu, hehehehe)
Skali lagi, hari ini adalah hari FUNEMPLOYED. sembari menunggu more info soal keberangkatan saya ke alam rimba PTT nun jauh di sana,, (naik apa, kapan, dan nyampe sana di mana n ngapain,, pluss.. kecamatan mana yang beruntung mendapatkan dokter dengan antusiasme petualang seperti akyuuuu)… Tak sabar sampai di sana… Heheheheee…
Apalagi ya.. udah ah, udah saatnya MAIN, mo ke mesjid agung jateng nih, memperkenalkan kebudayaan Islam ke kolega2 bule). Ciao
When there’s too much baggage in one place then perhaps it’s time to move away, perhaps it’s time to go away. I’m at a place in my life where leaving everything behind and looking forward seems like a comforting treat for myself. It’s not an escape to paradise, to a resort, or to a leap year full of crazy parties. This is simply a time away, a meditation, something to quiet the mind.
I need to get away. Not because I’m chased, but because I need silence and retreat. There is training in engaging in battlefields and firestorm. There is also training in solace and stillness. And for someone who’s out of balance, I need to re-balance in my own way.
It has been long years of anticipation, perhaps overt enthusiasm made me less aware of the cracks upon the ground I walk on. I need to be steady again. Perhaps to be one with the earth I stand on.
Sometimes you wish to undo the day, skip the whole month, and preferably not remember any of the less comfortable things you’ve been in your whole life so you won’t ever have to live with the shame. Unfortunately that’s not how human life works.
You only get each day ONCE in your lifetime. So each must be appreciated, each must be the one you’re grateful of at the end of the day, because it’s each day has their own blessing. Whether the blessing is handed to you as it is or covered in some kind of disguise.
Whatever it is, however regrettable, things that can no longer be undone have to be accepted. And since we don’t get to know the future, it makes sense to forgive ourselves for the past; and to remember what is pure and good in the present.
Rendi: ce yg aku kejar playing hard-to-get, 5 bulan pdkt
Wulan: corner her and ask her what she wants
Wulan: you’re the guy
Wulan: u have to be fast and furious, jangan smpe kamu yg playing hard to get
Rendi: i’ve cornered her
Rendi: and, finally, she rejected me
Wulan: hahahaaa
Wulan: ups sorry
Rendi: after rejecting for few times
Wulan: ih… that sucks
Wulan: does she give u a reason? soalnya ada rejection yg “we’re never gonna work out”, ada yang “hm… let’s see in a little while if I can like you”
Rendi: first, kenapa bilang “ih…that sucks”???? bukannya biasa aja ditolak?
Wulan: yah, well kalo aku jadi cowo sih, aku akan brusaha mikir gmana caranya jangan smpe ditolaknya five times
Wulan: jangan2 emang ngga compatible… gtu, dan kalo ngga nyadar kan sucks (ngga nyadar kalo ngga compatible)
Wulan: hey, that’s just me loh, this is strictly my POV
Rendi: okay…
Rendi: aku sendiri dah mikir berkali-kali, dan mendekati lagi dengan metoda yang berbeda-beda
Rendi: why r u so into her gak usah dijawab lah, klasik
Rendi: yang jelas bukan kacangan,kayak anak kecil
Rendi: itu di luar domain pembahasan
Rendi: dia bilang, awalnya sih memang tertarik dan mau sama aku, tapi, “setelah aku pikir lagi, aku ternyata gak suka ama kamu,” dia bilang begitu
Wulan: hah
Wulan: aneh
Rendi: jujur, aku merasa dipermainkan juga, kok
Wulan: okay, the possibilities are…
Wulan: a. she’s bothered by u, thus the super explicit rejection
Wulan: b. she’s in love wit someone else, thus the super explicit rejection
Wulan: c. she’s NOT interested in ANY relationship at the moment, so she’s deliberately pushing u away as far as possible
Rendi: a, tidak mungkin: dia justru mengontakku kalau aku tidak mengontaknya setelah sekian waktu
Rendi: b, bisa jadi: berulang kali dia menyinggung lagu yang bertema seperti itu, tapi sepertinya itu cowok not interested in her
Rendi: c, bisa jadi: kelakuan dia menunjukkan yang ini juga
Rendi: it’s ok, then
Rendi: dia dah nolak untuk terakhir kalinya
Rendi: dan dia dah ganti nomor HP (aku tahu dari status Facebook-nya)
Wulan: wow
Rendi: dan, don’t worry, aku gak ingin mengontak dia lagi, kok
Rendi: ini dia lagi OL
Rendi: tapi aku cuekin ajah
Rendi: kenapa ‘wow’?
Wulan: she’s not into you, for whatever reason. masih suka ato masih penasaran nih km?
Rendi: udah nggak lagi
Rendi: andai dia menawarkan diri di depanku sekalipun, aku gak akan minat. itu ilustrasi terbaik yang bisa kuberi
Wulan: well, nothing is bothering u then
Rendi: iya, emang. tapi dia dah bikin aku untuk tidak mempercayai tanda-tanda yang diberikan oleh lawan jenis lagi – tanda penerimaan, maksudnya
Wulan: haduh… dont let this traumatize u man… she’s just one girl
Rendi: at least, untuk saat ini, “In skepticism we trust”
Wulan: haha… anthem of the fractured liver
Rendi: hahaha..
Wulan: the right time, the right person…
Rendi: dan aku yakin tidak akan seribet ini
Wulan: hehe, mungkin ak selfish, tp klo aku emang sukanya yg ngga ribet, yg ngga banyak berantemnya
Rendi: iya, , aku juga begitu
BUZZ!!!
Rendi: mending mikir karir dulu, lah
Wulan: hm
Wulan: hehe…
Wulan: itu juga soal tipe
Wulan: aku ngga bisa sm cowo manja, karna aku manja. bukan manja SMA, manja dewasa…
Wulan: jadi next time perhatiin baik2 dulu nih, dy gmana orangnya
Wulan: intuisi bisa bener, tapi ngga menggambarkan 100% keadaan orang itu. u can be intuitive but perhaps only about some part of that person, not the rest
Rendi: i believe in intuition
Wulan: me too
Rendi: aku sering menyelesaikan persoalan matematis dengan menggunakan intuisi,
Rendi: and i believe in that
Rendi: berbagai persoalan, sih, bukan matematika saja. Kadang tau sesuatu sebelum terjadi..
Wulan: that’s a lot of burden, knowing the inevitable
Rendi: dulu aku masa bodoh, dan anggap yang gaib itu takhayul semata
Rendi: dan omong kosong para kyai
Wulan: people perceive what they’re able to..
Rendi: awalnya sih aku gak ngerti, , bisa ngerti atau tidak
Rendi: dan, itu tak bisa diminta
Rendi: datang sendiri
Wulan: iya iya…
Rendi: maksudnya, kalau ditanya pun, aku gak bisa menjawab
Rendi: tapi ngerti
Wulan: well, that’s a big responsibility
Rendi: punya bakat kali yah,
Rendi: soalnya semua kakekku tergolong orang yang kayak gitu
Wulan: mesti
Rendi: jadinya nurun
Wulan: iya
Rendi: at least, punya potensi untuk jadi gituan juga
Wulan: im a person of medical science, i believe that things are inherited and passed on automatically
Rendi: meskipun yang berbau metafisik?
Wulan: yes
Wulan: there is a God spot
Wulan: i believe there’s a portal for increased perception, increased sensitivity
Rendi: frontal lobe?
Rendi: ada yang bilang meditasi meningkatkan kapasitas frontal lobe
Rendi: hahaha..frontal lobe, terlampau fisik
Rendi: dan, memang, aku jadi semakin sering berhubungan dengan dunia macem gitu setelah sering meditasi
Wulan: i am more into the biomelucular processing of things, the biochemical processing of anything physical can be transformed into the mental/spiritual, vice versa
Rendi: shalat, dzikir, dan ngaji diperbanyak
Rendi: phuh…emang bisa, ? baru tahu aku
Rendi: dunia kedokteran mengakuinya?
Wulan: if you look into it, iya. some people are doing these research
Wulan: yg gampang, kaya mental disorder, semua bisa karena ngga seimbangnya neurotransmitter di otak, ada jenis tertentu yang kebanyakan ato justru kurang
Wulan: drugs bisa bikin divine sensation
Wulan: enlightment ato awareness, itu juga menurutku karena increased sensitivity of the spiritual area of the brain
Rendi: btw, jadi, secara ilmiah, mungkin sekali kan Nabi Muhammad mengetahui semua realitas? karena memiliki kepekaan yang sangat tinggi
Rendi: begitu, bukan?
Wulan: menurutku iya, prophets have that. Wallahu’alam
Wulan: aku percaya bahwa all the divine experience of the prophets adalah karena mereka bisa mengakses a trancendent experience through their biological existence
Rendi: phuh, bahasamu, lan!! I like it!
Rendi: thanks, yow
Wulan: Nah.. tapi aku juga percaya bahwa akses ini adalah ijin Allah
Wulan: dan dari yang aku baca sih, (al-hikam terjemahannya syekh fadhlalla, punya serambi), kalo beginian ikhlas aja, because it is given to you as a gift. as anything that is given, it can be taken away as well
Wulan: so, enjoy what ur entrusted with
Rendi: hahaha….iya, kayaknya sekarang diambil lagi, deh
Rendi: kurang peka lagi,
Rendi: sekarang kurang peka
Wulan: mungkin bsa usaha untuk peka lagi, tapi usaha ngga berarti otomatis bisa peka lagi
Wulan: ada faktor “gift”nya kan
Rendi: tapi, kalau gak ngaji, aku stress
Rendi: makanya, sekarang ngaji lagi
Rendi: jadi kecanduan
Rendi: iya, ngerti aku,
Rendi: ada faktor ‘gift’nya tadi
Rendi: tapi emang bener, kok, dengan mendekatkan diri pada Tuhan maka diri kita jadi tenang
Rendi: sepertinya dengan mendekatkan diri pada Tuhan, writer’s block bisa hilang
Wulan: Kata Too Phat, Sajadah is where the boot is
Rendi: apa tuh artinya?
Wulan: so, inspirasi emang perlu dicari…
Wulan: well, kalo sajadah is where the boot is, jadinya kita bisa nemuin Allah di manapun kita berada, we can serve Him wherever we are
Wulan: dan… as you say, The Divine can be the greatest inspiration
Wulan: jadi… as long as there’s a place where u can find calmness, beauty, love, that’s a place of inspiration. as long as you can see the source of that beauty and love
Wulan: I think selama bisa melihat The Divine di manapun kita melangkah, ke manapun kita melangkah kita bisa mendapatkan inspirasi itu
Rendi: hmm..intinya, jika kita menja an Allah sebagai tujuan kita, maka kita tak akan merasakan kesulitan itu, bukan?
Rendi: hanya dengan mengingat Allah, kita menjadi tenang
Rendi: barangsiapa yakin mendapatkan air, tak merasakan dahaga
Wulan: Kalo Allah sebagai tujuan yang sulit pun Insya Allah terlewati dgn mudah
Rendi: air=rahmat Allah, sepertinya begitu
Wulan: yes
Wulan: bersyukur aku bisa pegang paradigma dan keyakinan itu through challenges, hardship, heartbreaks…
Rendi: nah, yang sulit, tuh…meluruskan niat dan tujuan, kan, ?
Rendi: gimana tuh biar tumbuh kesadaran semacam gitu terus yah…???
Wulan: Niat dan tujuan itu juga gift. seumur hidup mencari tanpa dapet juga bisa terjadi
Wulan: kalo kata seorang guru ngaji, the biggest zikir is the simplest one, bismillah
Wulan: Bismillah aja
Wulan: because you’ll never know
Rendi: lha terus cowok2 yg biasa kmu temuin tuh yang gimana?
Wulan: there is no perfect person I guess
Rendi: iya, bener itu, gak ada yang sempurna,
Rendi: yang bisa kita lakukan hanyalah menyempurnakan diri
Rendi: phuh…
Rendi: meluruskan niat, deh, yah
Rendi: jadi dokter, niatnya ridha Allah
Rendi: jadi penulis, niatnya ridha Allah
Rendi: insya Allah ntar jadi yang terbaik di bidangnya
Wulan: amin
Wulan: well, aku kan deeply affected sm paulo coelho’sthe alchemist
Rendi: oh, yah?
Wulan: jadi waktu itu jd terbuka aja pikiranku bahwa I will serve through my own destiny. jadi berusaha peka sama “tanda-tanda”, sama hal2 yang dimudahkan Allah buatku. Trus mikir, If this seems like “given” to me then maybe this is my gift, this is my path, my way of serving
Wulan: anyway, tipe cowo yg sama aku?
Wulan: yang comfy dengan kondisiku yang overachiever
Wulan: trus hardworker, apapun yg dia kerjain
Wulan: loyal, caring
Wulan: jadi soal minat kita ada perbedaan nggak masalah
Rendi: kayaknya kamu niy, sebagai cewek dan manusia, memiliki definisi berbeda tentang hidup yang comfortable, yah?
Rendi: bener nggak?
Rendi: at least, dibandingkan dengan wanita lain pada umumnya?
Rendi: how do you define comfortable?
Wulan: Well, financially, comfortable is having more than enough in terms of money. That’s unexpected for someone like me, tapi that’s what i believe in.
Wulan: trus… have a family that is a place to come home to. rumah bukan cm tempat tidur, tapi a loving and supportive environment
Wulan: trus Live for something we believe in, having something we dedicate our life to
Wulan: yang paling penting, seorang cowo yang maklum kalo aku fighting so hard to achieve something, karena pekerjaanku is more than just a career for me, it’s my service to God. My work is my prayer
Rendi: keren…
Wulan: hahaaa
Rendi: amin..
Wulan: amin
Rendi: muga2 terkabul
Wulan: amin
Wulan: and you?
Wulan: sebagai cowo nih…
Wulan: what’s comfy to you?
Rendi: 1. memiliki keluarga/pasangan yang bisa memahami apa yang aku lakukan
Wulan: gila, listed numbers
Wulan: trus?
Rendi: 2. melihat ideku banyak dijalankan oleh orang2
Rendi: 3. bebas mengekspresikan diri tanpa terpikirkan permasalahan finansial (berpikir untuk berekspresi saja, tanpa memikirkan risiko finansial)
Rendi: tentu saja, yang ke-3, tuh, disertai oleh pertimbangan kondisi keuangan yang mantap
Rendi: keluarga harus asih makan, to,
Rendi: 4. bisa mengalahkan dominasi atas diri sendiri
Rendi: ..yah, sepertinya itu saja,
Wulan: itu poin ke-3 adalah di mana pemikiran sexist-ku muncul
Wulan: coz im a girl, i’m not directly responsible for the financial well being of the family
Rendi: hahahaha..terus??
Wulan: curang ya… I thought, my husband has to be the one who makes money, I want to live doing what I love. Tapi trus aku dimarain nyokap begitu bilang gitu
Rendi: yang penting, keluarga tercukupi sandang dan pangannya, . gitu saja
Wulan: nyokap bilang “ce harus punya uang sendiri, harus makes money sendiri, ngga boleh entirely dependent”. That’s just how I’m raised in my family
Rendi: aku setuju dengan ibumu,
Rendi: aku pun begitu, lebih suka wanita yang bekerja juga
Rendi: mengapa???
Wulan: km ky pak guru deh, mengucapkan kata2 retoris
Rendi: karena wanita yang juga bekerja cenderung memiliki penghargaan yang lebih tinggi terhadap materi itu sendiri
Wulan: aha… bener juga
Wulan: never thought about it that way
Wulan: iy iya…
Rendi: iya, emang begitu
Rendi: dan, keluarga yang wanitanya turut bekerja, cenderung memiliki anak-anak yang berkualitas lebih tinggi daripada wanita yang gak bekerja
Rendi: kalau menurut perhitungan, interaksi dengan anak berkurang
Rendi: tapi, pada kenyataannya, teman2ku yang ibunya gak bekerja malah gak karuan sikapnya
Rendi: secara akademis pun buruk
Rendi: demikian pula dari segi kognitif dan attitude
Wulan: iya bner
Wulan: kognitif n sikap, setuju
Wulan: i think I never think twice about working women, ato ambitious working women
Wulan: yang penting seorang ce sadar sama pilihan2 yang dia buat dan bisa bertanggung jawab
Rendi: ngomong2 masalah kesadaran..
Wulan: wazzup
Rendi: sekarang, banyak orang yang gak sadar akan dirinya sendiri,
Rendi: banyak kok yang gak tau hidup itu buat apa
Rendi: kita lumayan teringat gara2 diskusi barusan
Rendi: padahal, diskusi kayak yang kita lakukan ini jarang sekali disinggung ama orang
Rendi: yang diomongin kebanyakan masalah mendapatkan kekayaan tanpa henti
Rendi: yang terus bekerja untuknya meski dia dah mati
Wulan: iya…
Rendi: phuh…kita hidup di dunia materialis yah..
Rendi: atau…dari dulu dunia emang bersifat materialis, ?
Rendi: perasaan zaman Fir’aun pun dunia dah gini
Wulan: well, ada good example di the alchemist, tentang seorang pedagang kristal yang seumur hidup mencari uang… karena tujuan hidupnya, yg baru tercapai pas dia tua adalah bisa naik haji
Wulan: the point of his life is to try meeting God. that’s a beautiful illustration.
I haven’t always been a jazz fan. I don’t know if I am now. All that I listen to is some bands who can perform live and light up the stage; and I had only started listening seriously to these genre 2 months ago.
So what is it about these bands and their music that I love?
Perhaps we should start with honesty. That time I wanted to move on, moved away from a bad past and move out the bad memories from my head. So I needed a fresh start. I needed a new perspective. I needed new music.
And now after enjoying them for some time, I get it. It’s a new experience everytime I play the song. They’re catchy, but they’re not boring. They have serious arrangements, and they have honest lyrics. And by honest I mean not all tears and heartbreaks. By honest I mean that if things hurt then they’re hurtful, but it’s okay and it will be better.
I love how these bands (and this type of music) makes me feel. They make me flow easily through life. They make me travel light without too much baggage. They make me enjoy myself. They give me a fresh perspective on life: that life, as complicated as it can be, is beautiful and enjoyable. Just like jazz.
But then again, what is an ambitious man without passion?
For someone like me, those men are missing something big in their lives.
I know a man full of passion, he’s smart and he knows what he loves. He knows what kind of work that he loves to do and he makes sure that he’s doing it. And yet, he’s afraid of wanting better things for himself. He’s afraid of expectations. Life has probably made him doubtful of the things he can have in life. He has all kinds of rational explanations of why we should not hope too much and dream too big. Bottomline is, he’s afraid. With his passion he’s attractive enough for someone like me. But without ambition he’s like a car with not just the gas fully stepped on but also the hand-brake. He’s simply going nowhere, life is always halted by some static cling.
I know a man with ambition, but no passion. His life is between the campus and his home, between the classes and watching tv. And there’s nothing in between. Nothing. And I am struggling with finding out what makes him special, because at this point, there’s nothing special in him. He’s just boring. And maybe that’s just because I’ve always been doing too many things at once, meeting too many people in one day, and wanting so many things in a short period. Or maybe, that’s because he doesn’t have anything he’s enthusiastic about, he doesn’t have anything he’s interested in. He wants to get ahead and go forward in life and career, but that’s just about it. He lives for nothing but tomorrow, just to see another day that is pretty much the same as yesterday, life in monochrome. There’s no coulours and I don’t feel his heart beating.
Or maybe it’s just me in my overly complicated life. I can’t understand how people can function without passion and ambition. I just can’t. And really, I am struggling with this. I will certainly blame my parents, they both are intense about the things they do in life. They are lucky enough to pursue the things they actually love doing. And now, comparing myself with others around me, I just realized how much my parents have influenced me. They don’t limit or direct my choices in life, but they certainly shaped my attitude towards life, which I am grateful about.
Ambition and passion are not wild grasses that can grow as tall as the trees. If they’re not nurtured, they won’t grow at all, let alone bloom.
I’m lucky enough to surround myself with people of this kind, the ones with both passion and ambition who don’t just keep it for themselves but share them with me and motivate me. I am not maniacally ambitious and I stay sane. I make sure that I stay balanced and grounded. But I do have this fire in my eyes. People don’t just know my passion, they can feel it when they’re near me. They know that I know where I’m going. They know that I am going after the things in life that I believe in.
“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion”; I can never live a life in monochrome nor a life with eternal static cling. And passion and ambition are definitely two big words in my dictionary of life.
Jumat, 17/04/2009 06:59 WIB Dekan FEUI Termuda: Saatnya Menghidupkan Tokoh-tokoh Muda oleh Nurul Qomariyah, Wahyu Daniel – detikFinance
Firmazah (Foto: Wahyu/detikcom)
Jakarta – Firmanzah membuat kejutan dengan menjadi Dekan Fakultas Ekonomi UI termuda, pada usianya yang belum genap 33 tahun. Kehadiran ekonom-ekonom ataupun tokoh muda ini terasa segar di tengah tokoh-tokoh yang muncul selama ini terkesan itu-itu saja.Firmanzah mampu menjadi Dekan FEUI setelah mengalahkan para seniornya yang rata-rata sudah bergelar Profesor. Alumnus jurusan manajeman FEUI angkatan 1994 yang berusia genap 33 tahun pada Juni nanti itu antara lain mengalahkan kakak dari Menko Perekonomian Sri Mulyani Indrawati, Dr Ir Nining Indrayono Soesilo MA. Dalam pemilihan Dekan FE UI 14 April 2008, Firmanzah, Ph.D berhasil mengungguli 2 kandidat calon dekan lainnya, yaitu Prof Sidharta Utama PhD CFA dan Arindra A Zainal, PhD. Terpilihnya Firmanzah sebagai Dekan FE-UI periode 2009-2013, sekaligus mengukir sejarah sebagai Dekan termuda sepanjang sejarah UI dan sebagai pegawai BHMN pertama yang menjabat posisi Dekan. Bagaimana kisah pria yang biasa disapa Fiz ini bisa melenggang ke kursi tertinggi di FEUI? Berikut wawancara detikFinance dengan Firmanzah di kantornya, Dekanat FEUI, Depok, Kamis (16/4/2009).
Bagaimana rasanya terpilih menjadi Dekan FEUI di saat saingan anda begitu berat dan lebih senior dari anda?Tokoh-tokoh muda mati suri dan akhirnya mati suri, itu harus dihidupkan lagi tokoh-tokoh muda. Saat ini kita bicara tentang kinerja berbasis kompetensi dan itu harus dilakukan.UI sedang melakukan transformasi, Rektor yang melakukan itu. Membuat UI lebih fresh, UI keluar dari konservatisme. Lebih adaptif dengan kompetisi di tingkat regional dan juga global, jadi penuh dengan perubahan. Perlu komitmen universitas jadi kita memilih pemimpin fakultas karena kompetensinya. Bukan karena dukungan atau dia itu siapa dan asalnya dari mana. Itu budaya feodal. Aristokrasi, feodal, dan nepotisme itu sudah tidak relevan lagi saat ini, jadi pemilihan dekan saat itu murni dinilai dari kompetensi. Ini kompetisi, dan mekanisme pemengangnya lewat kompetensi, dan kita harus belajar untuk menjalankannya. Kita juga harus belajar, jangan karena si X ini saudara siapa maka lebih dipilih.
Apakah anda tidak mempunyai beban saat bersaing dengan senior waktu itu?Ada beban karena bersaing dengan senior, bagaimanapun mereka itu dosen kita dan lebih berpengalaman. Namun itu konsekuensi yang sudah saya sadari sejak awal. Kita harus upgrade diri kita dengan cepat menyesuaikan diri dengan apa yang diinginkan institusi, karena semangat saja tidak cukup. Tapi kita harus belajar untuk menutupi kekurangan-kekurangan kita, belajar dari senior dan teman-teman yang lebih pengalaman.
Persiapan berapa lama?Persiapannya ada persiapan umum seperti sekolah S3, buat buku dan tulisan yang dipublikasi secara internasional. Membuka jaringan dan komunikasi dengan senior. Persiapan khususnya ketika mengambil formulir pencalonan dekan.
Apa konsep yang anda tawarkan saat itu?Saya lihat FEUI mempunyai sejarah yang panjang, kompleks, rumit dengan banyaknya lembaga dan program studi seperti ada Ilmu Studi Pembangunan, Ilmu Akuntasi dan Ilmu Manajemen. Tantangan kita ke depan adalah untuk melakukan internasionalisasi secara global. Kita tidak lagi head to head dengan UGM atau universitas lainnya di luar negeri, kita sekarang harus sejajar secara internasional. Dan kita tidak bisa sendiri, harus ada sinergi dari 3 program studi yang ada, dengan mahasiswa, dosen, dan sebagainya untuk memajukan FEUI.
Caranya bagaimana untuk bawa FEUI ke persaingan internasional?Saya akan mengakselerasi kerjasama internasional. Baik itu mengundang dosen dari luar negeri untuk mengajar di sini, atau outbond, dalam arti dosen kita dikirim untuk mengajar ke luar negeri.
Ada rencana rekomendasi ke pemerintah? Aspek distribusi dan penataan lembaga. Saya baru dua hari, dan masih banyak yang harus dikerjakan. Tadi ada yang datang dari Slovakia, dan mereka appreciate, karena yang termuda di Slovakia adalah 34 tahun. Dan saya juga lagi Guru Besar, dan mudah-mudahan selesai dalam 3 atau 4 bulan. Saya berencana buat media center.(dnl/qom)
I’m not exactly a movie freak but I love watching movies. Well, at least certain kinds. From the kinds that makes you hold your breath, full of anticipation, family/romantic comedy, crazy comedy (I love Jack Black), and even the ones with the weirdest coincidence (Just Like Heaven, My Sassy Girl).
Anyway, some movies I just can’t enjoy with my boyfriend (don’t ask me why). He hates some of the stuff I like, but hey, I’m pretty liberal myself so he can have his own opinion.
Anyway, talking about movies, yesterday I re-lived the most perfect moment in a movie. Cruel Intentions’ ending. The perfect blend of movie and music, cinematography at its maximum impact. The song was Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, which pretty much sums up the movie plot, that life IS a bittersweet symphony. Above all, the truth and goodness will triumph. I especially love when Sarah Michelle Gellar walked out of the church, looked terrified and puzzled, with the music playing in the background. The key was in the music, the crescendo intro that leads to the moment where she appeared at the door. It was great acting and at that moment then.
The bad guy (Sarah Michelle Gellar), who always worked hard for her socially perfect image was caught in the end, even with the cross-coke-container still filled with the cocaine.
Of course to fully appreciate this movie ending, you have to watch the movie. They really build up the story until the final climactic moment, it was a shocker and perfect ending at the very end.
And, seeking comfort, we sometimes wonder if in real life the true faces of the devil will be clear enough for us to see.
- ajeng, 26-4-2009 -
Disclaimer: I do not own the movie Cruel Intentions and the soundtrack Bittersweet Symphony.
Had it not for AXN’s The Duke, one programme I happened to watch some time ago on cable, I wouldn’t have known that there’s a hunky astronaut from Malaysia, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor. What caught my attention was definitely that for a real-life astronaut he looked good, an enthusiastic guy that seemed genuinely nice and hard-working. And the best part is that he’s an orthopedic surgeon (somehow I get the impression that this specialty is the new “macho” of medicine). And.. did I mention that he looked good? He looks like he can star in Armageddon. Wikipedia mentioned that he’s a part time model, but I don’t know this is before or after he became a celebrity-astronaut.
He’s 35 years old, an orthopedic surgeon graduated from India (why India?), and conducted a research on board of Soyuz TMA-11 launched at 13:22 UTC, Wednesday, October 10, 2007. And check this out, he performed experiments on board the International Space Station relating to the characteristics and growth of liver cancer and leukemia cells, the crystallisation of various proteins and microbes in space. So, supposedly, it can lead to finding a cure for cancer (eventually). The mission was conducted on Ramadhan, so he did all the praying and fasting on board of the spacecraft.
Sounds too good to be true? Almost. Not to undermine the rigorous and difficult training and selection as astronaut, but departure of Malaysian astronaut in the spacecraft arose after Russia agreed to transport one Malaysian to the ISS as part of a multi-billion purchase of 18 Russian Sukhoi Su-30MKM fighter jets by Malaysia. Dr Shukor was selected at the end of 18 months of training in Russia (he mentioned outbound training in Siberia!).
I’m sure that he will never have any trouble receiving appropriate appreciation from the government as well as academic institution, perhaps getting his Ph.D in no time.
Indonesia’s own astronaut, Dr. Pratiwi Sudarmono, was selected to take part in the NASA Space Shuttle mission STS-61-H as a Payload Specialist in October 1985.
However, after the Challenger disaster the deployment of commercial satellites like the Indonesian Palapa B-3 planned for the STS-61-H mission was canceled, thus the mission never took place. She’s a medical doctor, received a Master’s degree from the University of Indonesia in 1977, and the Ph.D. in Molecular Biology from the University of Osaka, Japan, in 1984 (at the age of 32 years old). From 1994 to 2000, she was head of the Department of Microbiology of the Medical Faculty of the University of Indonesia. From 2001 to 2002, she was a scholar in the Fulbright New Century Scholars Program.
I once watched an interview with Dr. Pratiwi. She said, once selected, an astronaut will always be an astronaut. You can never say that someone is an ex-astronaut. Like being a doctor. I can’t agree more. It’s not just marked by one trip to outer space, being one is a lifetime achievement, a remarkable accomplishment.
The Malaysian astronaut is now having the power of technology, media and publication is at its highest ability to communicate their achievement and finding. And for me this is an example for us to work harder, be confident, and to market our achievements.
It’s not just a matter of having brain and talent, it’s also having the environment capable of containing, nurturing and boosting your capabilities. I am doubtful that this kind of resourceful environment is easy to find in Indonesia.
The benefit of Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor is being in the country that he is now, being where you can just be young, talented, fabulous, and take that advantage to accomplish something big not just for yourself but for your country and people. I humbly envy this.
As for now it is clear that I’m about to take on another adventure. This time it will last a little longer, hopefully 6 months. All I can think about now is the gear I have to bring, what kind of exciting and interesting settings I will encounter. I am astonished of this confidence myself, I hope this is a good sign.
I read about Alfred Wallace in March edition of international National Geographic Magazine. He was an explorer and a scientist. He was not initially wealthy but he had incredible curiosity. He collected species for commercial trade but he also carefully documented his findings and eventually published them. He didn’t have an easy journey and so it was obvious that he loved what he was doing.
For Indonesians, perhaps we are aware of the Wallace line, the line that geographically mark biodiversity between the western and middle/eastern part of Indonesia (picture shown below, from http://www.wku.edu/%7Esmithch/wallace/S718i.htm). He was recognized as the founder of biodiversity, although his academic reputation was still outranked by Charles Darwin.
It was said that in National Geographic, “Besides being one of the greatest field biologist of the 19th century, he was a man of crotchety independence and lurching enthusiasm, a restless soul never quite satisfied with the place in which he lived, a believer in spiritualism… who by these and his eccentricities gave his detractors some grounds for dismissing him as a crank.
The question that no scholar or biographer has adequately answered is: How to reconcile such brilliant achievements, radical convictions and incautious zealotries within one human character… If he hadn’t existed, this Alfred Wallace, it would’ve taken a very peculiar Victorian novelist to create him.
During his Malay expedition, Wallace had traveled 14.000 miles within the Malay archipelago alone, made 60-70 separate journeys, and collected 125.660 specimens. Fame was not important to him; ideas were. He had traveled far and widely, both in geographical space and intellectual breadth.”
It’s easiest to take the safe path, the same as everybody else, and achieve only what so many others achieved. However, some people have taken the road less traveled. And even fewer brave seekers open their own paths and build their own roads and bridges; allowing the universe to guide them in a unique journey they consider sacred.
Salah satu hal yang ditanamkan kakek saya, seorang guru dan ahli bedah, ke orang tua saya, dan akhirnya ke saya adalah:
“Kamu jangan mau jadi orang yang biasa-biasa saja.”
And that my friend, includes doing great things other than studying.
I was recently criticized in public for “receiving academic merit and recognition despite graduating later than other students in my year” (“mendapat penghargaan akademik walaupun lulus terlambat dibandingkan mahasiswa lain di angkatan saya”). That person (maybe with some other people) had thought that I didn’t deserve the recognition because well, I graduated late anyway. This late graduation is however caused by my receiving an international scholarship to the Netherlands and taking time off for personal medical reason. That person, does not recognize my initial reason for being late (international scholarship doesn’t come just free to just any people at my place). In other words, that person doesn’t recognize my international academic achievement, and lowers me to the “local” (or perhaps his own?) standard of what is considered an achievement (“graduating in time although barely”, lulus tepat waktu walau pas-pasan). And I assume, that person is also putting himself/herself just into the local, and not international standard.
Funny. In most places, extracurricular activities and personal skills are considered an asset when accepting doctors for residency. It turned out, in some other places, the game is played rather differently. A game where achievement is apparently still irrelevant to existence. How worthy you are is NOT measured by how much you know and what you can do. A game that nurtures incompetence and mediocrity.
For the family that nurtures me, anything less than great is failure. Even if the greatness is just in the efforts. So if you’re thinking that I don’t deserve what I get, that I don’t deserve my gifts and opportunities, then know this: They are gifts and responsibilities from the heavens for me.
Everything is serious, and everything is done with hard work. Everything is earned. Every achievement is the fruit of sacrifice and laborous work.
And perhaps envious people, if you are among them, should answer this: What have you earned and achieved?
There’s something exotic and foreign about Bandung. Everybody has their shopping trips in Bandung, but I got it more intimate. With angkot trips, their endless transfers and long stop, getting to the market and book market.
Jogja will forever be my Utrecht, just like Utrecht is forever my Jogja, bohemian. The American College Dictionary defines Bohemian as “a person with artistic or intellectual tendencies, who lives and acts with no regard for conventional rules of behavior.” Somehow Jogja is always laid back, with laid back young people in cafes and coffe shops. Busy, but relaxed. And I get that from both Utrecht and Jogja.
Bandung is a different land. It’s as if I might fall in love with this place if I stayed too long or knew it a little better. What is not to love about Bandung? Full of young people, energy, and everyone is supposed to be cultural in their own way. Looking around, especially with my boyfriend beside me, I thought, “This place is full of smart people”. I never get that from Jogja. Jogja follows, Bandung is where everything starts. Savvy. Sassy.
Semarang is my gate to the rest of the world.
Jogja is my root of existence.
Jakarta is a reminder of who I am and what inspires me.
I once watched an interview with Dr. Pratiwi. She said, once selected, an astronaut will always be an astronaut. You can never say that someone is an ex-astronaut. Like being a doctor. I can’t agree more. It’s not just marked by one trip to outer space, being one is a lifetime achievement, a remarkable accomplishment.
